But Yours is So Beautiful

Dia and I went to a birthday party recently.   It was at a park with which we were very familiar and so Dia took off for the playground equipment immediately upon landing.  I herded her in and guided her toward the host of the party and some children she knew but, while she did participate in the proper social graces, she returned quickly to the jungle gym.

I was feeling sort of concerned that she wasn’t really showing all that much interest in playing with the other girls.  I’ll admit the crew was tight-knit and very much into their own thing, but still.  At one point the other girls asked Dia to come over and play a version of house, but she didn’t think that was much fun and ended up playing in the sand with some of the younger children.

So, as I said, I was feeling concerned and kind of worried that maybe not attending preschool might cause problems for her.  One of the changes I’ve noticed since ‘last time’ I was a parent of young children and ‘this time’ is the opinion that early socialization is crucial.  Mind-boggling crucial.  I have more than one friend that keeps their child in preschool despite feeling the care provided is not in line with how they’d prefer their child be treated.  Still, they feel it’s better to leave them there than have them not get the exposure with and to other children.

Now, Dia has always been kind of different than her peers.  I suppose that we are all very unique if we are allowed to be so and perhaps that’s all that’s really different about her.  I allow it.  And, really, what’s so wrong with being your own person anyway?  Perhaps if more people were allowed to be their true self there wouldn’t be so many problems with teasing, bullying and poor sportsmanship.  But we really aren’t that society, are we?  Dia may indeed find there is a lot wrong with being different.  She may end up an outcast and very lonely.

Or anyway, I was considering that this might happen.  In about an hour I’d thought this all out and had gotten myself completely freaked out about ‘what if’ and ‘maybe’ and then…

There was a little crafts project that everyone participated in.  One of the girls just melted down over something to do with it.  I didn’t know if it was that she didn’t get the color she wanted, or something blew away in the big gusts of wind, or if it didn’t turn out right or what.   Regardless, she could not be consoled.  Her mother did try, but eventually the little girl just went over to a picnic blanket to be alone and cry.  A couple of the other girls were sent over by their mothers, but they lost interest in a few seconds.  Meanwhile Dia and I were looking over our options at the picnic table since her blood sugars were going a little low, and suddenly she just got down and went over to the child.

What I witnessed in that moment was the sweetest, most sincere, most gentle, most nurturing, most empathetic interaction I have ever had the privilege of seeing.  Dia sat gently next to her.  She carefully raised her hand and placed it lightly on her shoulder.  She spoke quietly and sweetly and truly wanted to know what was wrong.  I think she told her, though I couldn’t hear her reply.  Dia stayed with her until she’d calmed down.  And she did calm down due to Dia's kind, sweet words and gentle touch.

I was so moved.

It occurred to me, as I watched her, that anyone witnessing me witnessing that would have seen the face of unadulterated pure love.  Truthfully, I was disappointed that no one did see it.  Not one mom, not one child.  No one was paying any attention to the little girl but Dia and no one was paying any attention to Dia but me.  I suppose it gets to be my special moment, but I really feel that anyone who witnessed it would have been touched in much the way it touched my heart.

To say I’m proud of her would indicate that I had some hand in this and, other than raising her in more love than she knows what to do with, I didn’t do that.  That came from her.  All her.

You know what?  I think she’s gonna’ be OK.

And, by the way, I asked later if the little girl did tell her what was wrong.

“She wanted a yellow one” Dia said.

“What did you say to her that calmed her down like that?” I asked

“I said ‘But yours is SO beautiful.’”