Tuesday, July 21, 2015

An Ode to Thigh Gap



What light though yonder thighs once broke
That skin and fat and age now choke
Tis the rub and sticky heat
That madden me now that they meet.

Lo Talc! In you I put my faith
To spare me from this cursed chafe
Yet thine evidence in powd'ry snow
On all my wears of black doth show.

Fitness Lords, why doth ye lie?
These moves dare not reshape mine thighs.
Nay, ev’ry pliĆ© and plyometric squat
Causes me to wish in Hell you’d rot.

And now as I peer in the glass
To see the fate befallen mine ass
Once small and round and firm and high
Now sits deflated upon mine thighs.

This road of life tarries on, forsooth
Alas, I must now visage the truth
Twas never so before, and yet?
Twould seem my thighs hast truly met.